Friday, April 04, 2008
10:48 PMthere are 6 people here involved..
I dunno how i can express it but..
the way i am treating one of my leaders,is no longer as a friend,nor a sister..i'm beginning to feel like I'm treating her as a leader,one of superior position instead..I used to feel comfortable talking her like a close friend,thinking that she,as a sister,will stand by me always. I'm close with Ann Gie(my another friend).We're like buddies,buddies for life( Me and Ann Gie)!
Me and Dearest Ann Gie [BUDDIES FOR LIFE!]
However,everything doesn seem right,in that perspective of friendship with the leader..the feeling of being a friend and sister is no longer there..Instead,i felt much more closer to Anngie instead (perhaps cuz we're like friends for the past 8 years already). I'm beginning to feel like she is a leader,someone who will say hurting words towards me. My love language is words.I'm super sensitive to it. Thus,wadever words that she has spoken, i dun feel alright anymore and yet also no sense of belonging to the group as i can see that she no longer trust me by wad she says..just because of her dearest people
Another leader,she usually somewhat 'breaks' promise..she arranged meet-ups but yet last minute cancel,telling me that she's going to meet up another person(let's say person A).In the end, i realised that she went to meet another person(person B)..she doesn't noe how much it disappoints me and how 'cheated' i felt after knowing it..I'm always anticipating for the meet,but it's always last minute cancelled..all due to another person in the group.I'll always think:"Why does she keep meeting another people than meeting me? Am i of no significance to her?" I just cant understand. I know this shouldnt be running through my mind,but it cant be help..can it?
I dunno what i can say anymore further..but the friendship circle in my heart of this group seems further than the friendship circle of those in school..
I do not knoe if people who're reading it understands as it can onli be more easily described when talking and not typing out..I'm just purely confused..
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Hello.i am CHRYSTAL!((:. I am not PERFECT, but I am accepted for who I am
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